Tuesday, January 10, 2012

THE WRECK; re-visited 82



            Hemamalini did not want to pursue the subject further, and so after a short pause she went on : "When I endeavor to act according to your teaching I find myself continually brought up against obstacles and when I get diverted from your teachings I get terrified and reduced to despair.  Do you think I shall never achieve stability of purpose ? Shall I always be liable to waver under external shocks ?"
           Hemamalini's pathetic appeal made Nalinaksha to reflect.
          "You must understand," he replied, after a brief pause, "that is in order to nerve us to effort that difficulties are placed in our way. You must not be discouraged."
           Nalinaksha's words gave Hemamalini strength and mental tranquility that she badly needed. Even after he had gone her heart was conscious of his healing touch. She found a spiritual Guru in him. In that propitious moment the sunlight and the dazzling blue of the heavens showered creation's eternal blessing on her soul when she was standing outside her room after the departure of Nalinaksha.
          The first shock of the announcement of the marriage proposal of Nalinaksha's mother had passed away and Hemamalini no longer shrank instinctively from the idea. More than ever she felt dependent on Nalinaksha and devoted to him. In his passionless altruism he was independent of woman's love, but to him, no less than to others, service was due. His mother was old and ill, and he had no one to care for him. To serve a man like him was a work of piety.
         The chapter in Ramesh's history that came to her notice that morning caused her such a crushing blow that she had to summon up all her forces to shield herself from its cruel impact. She had no desire to sit in judgement and pass sentence on him. Her instinct was to banish from her mind all thoughts of Ramesh. When at times she envisaged Kamala's fate shudder passed over her, but after all, she asked herself, what link had she with the luckless suicide ? When shame, loathing, and pity reasserted themselves, clasping her hands she prayed : "O Lord, why do these thoughts vex me when I have committed no fault ? Release me, I pray Thee, from these earthly ties. Let them be served once for all. I desire nothing more, only that I may live at peace in this Thy world !" 
          Annada Babu wanted to know what impression the story of Ramesh and Kamala had made on Hemamlini, but he could not pluck courage to mention the subject openly. 
         "He seemed a good sort, that old fellow who came to see us this morning," he began, "I was really surprised at Ramesh's conduct. One had heard a good deal of gossip about him, but I never believed it till to-day. Still--"
         "Don't let's talk about it, dad," she implored.
         "I don't want to discuss it, dear," said Annada Babu, "but by the working of Providence our happiness and misery are inextricably bound up with one person and another and we cannot afford to ignore their conduct."
         "No, no !" protested Hemamalini. "We cannot allow our happiness and misery to depend on any individual at all. I'm all right, dad. If you distress yourself unnecessarily about me you only make me ashamed."
         "Hem, dear, I'm an old man and I shan't be happy till I see you settled. How can I die and leave you unmarried ! You see, dear, the fact that we have had disappointment should not lead us to spurn other valuable things that life has to offer. It may be that in your sorrow you do not see for the moment how you can make your life happy and useful, but remember I have no motive if I ask you not to reject the proposal that I communicated to you."
         Hemamalini's eyelids fluttered as she exclaimed : "Please don't say that ! I should never reject any proposal that came from you. Whatever order you give me I shall obey. All that I ask for is an opportunity to purge my heart of doubts and to prepare myself first."
        Annada Babu felt his daughter's cheek wet with tears, and laid his hand lightly on her head. He said nothing more to her.              
                  

Monday, January 9, 2012

THE WRECK; re-visited 81




          Akshay and Uncle departed,leaving Annada Babu anxiously scanning his daughters face. Hemamalini  on her part had a tremendous struggle to retain her composure, knowing, as she did, her father's fears on her behalf.
         Dad," she said at length, "I think you should get a doctor to examine you thoroughly to-day. So little upsets your health now-a-days that you obviously need regular treatment.
        To find that, after Ramesh's conduct had been so fully canvassed, Hemamalini was still capable of solicitude about his health gave him considerable relief.
        "That's a good idea. It would be just as well if I did have myself examined. I had better send for Dr. Nalinaksha at once, don't you think so ?" he replied.
         Hemamalini was conscious was of a slight shrinking at the mention of Nalinaksha. It would require a considerable effort to meet him on the old footing in her father's presence. However, she answered cheerfully, "That will be best. I'll send some one to fetch him."
         Annada Babu  now took courage from Hemamalini's apparent insensibility and broached the thorny subject.
         "By the way, Hem," he began, "about this affair of Ramesh--" but Hemamalini cut him short.
          "The sun is too hot for you now , dad ; you must come inside immediately" ; and she took his arm and drew him into the house.
          "Now you read your news paper, I must leave you for a little," and she left installing him in an armchair.
           Though he strove to comply with Hemamalini's dictates the anxiety for his daughter prevented him from concentrating on the news paper, and at last he laid it aside and went in search of her. Finding her door was closed he retreated to the verandah and collapsed wearily into his chair.
          Dr.Nalinaksha arrived and examined Annada Babu. He prescribed a course of treatment for the old man and asked Hem if the patient had been worrying over anything. Hem answered with a qualified affirmative.
          "If possible," said Nalinaksha, "he should be kept free from all anxiety. I find the same difficulty with my own mother. She takes trifling matters so much to heart that it is not easy to keep her in good health. I try to shield her from anything that might excite her, but the world being what it is, it is hardly possible to do so altogether."
          "You're not looking perfectly fit yourself to-day," remarked Hemamalini.
          "Oh, I'm perfectly well ! I'm practically never out of sorts. I sat up for part of the night and probably explains why I am not looking my best."
          "It would be better if your mother had a woman in constant attendance on her. You can't nurse her properly by yourself and you have your work to do besides," suggested she.
           Hemamalini had spoken without any thought of herself and there was no gainsaying the appositeness of her remark, but no sooner had she uttered the words than she blushed crimson with shame ; for it suddenly struck her that Nalinaksha might draw some inference from what she had said. He, too, when he noticed her confusion, was irresistibly reminded of his mother's proposal.
         Hemamalini hastened to cover her indiscretion by adding, "Shouldn't she have a maid- servant to wait on her ?"
        "I've tried to persuade her to engage a woman," said Nalinaksha, "but so far without success. She is very scrupulous about ceremonial purity and she could not trust a paid servant to be as particular as she is herself. Moreover she has an instinctive dislike to accepting any service that is not entirely voluntary."
  

Sunday, January 8, 2012

THE WRECK; re-visited 80

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            On the night of the day when Annada Babu discussed with his daughter about her marriage proposal with Nalinaksha and she showed her diffidence to it he had recurrence of the severe pain which had attacked him in Calcutta. He spent the night in agony, but the morning brought some relief. Hemamalini attributed his relapse to disappointment to her rejection of the proposed marriage, and her conscience was troubled by the reflection that mental worry had aggravated the old man's bodily weakness. The problem of finding some means of alleviating his distress dominated all others in her thoughts, but she was totally unable to solve it.
           The sudden appearance of Akshay and Uncle took her by surprise, and Akshay introduced the old gentleman as Chakrabarttiof Ghazipur, a worthy fellow-countryman whose name was well known throughout the province and he had something very important to tell. They seated beside Annada Babu and Uncle proceeded to explain their errand.
          "I am informed ," he began, "that you are old friends of Ramesh Babu, so I have come to ask you if you can give me any tidings of his wife."
          Surprise at this opening deprived Annada Babuof breath. "Ramesh's wife !" he exclaimed.
          Hemamalini dropped her eyes, and Chakrabartti resumed : "You must think me very old-fashioned and ill-mannered, but if you will have patience and hear me out I think you will be convinced that I haven't come all the way from Ghazipur simply to discuss other people's affairs with you ! It was during the Puja holidays that I met Ramesh Babu ; I made his acquaintance on the steamer in which he was travelling up-country with his wife. You know yourselves that no one can meet Kamala without succumbing to her charm. I am an old man and sorrow and affliction have toughened my fibre, but I can never forget that dear little woman. On the steamer Ramesh Babu was still undecided about a destination, but we had known each other only a couple of days.  Kamala became so attached to my old self that she persuaded her husband to disembark at Ghazipur and put up with us. My second daughter Saila loved her more than her own sister. I can't bear to speak of what happened after that. Why the dear girl should suddenly disappear, leaving us heart-broken, I have never yet been able to conceive. Saila's eyes have never been dry since we lost her" ; and Uncle completely broke down at the recollection.
         "What happened to her, where did she go ?" asked Annada Babu in great concern.
         "Akshay Babu," said Uncle, "you have heard everything ; you tell him. It breaks my heart to think of it."
         Akshay recounted the whole story in detail. Without adding any comment of his own he succeeded in depicting Ramesh's behavior in the blackest colors.
         At the conclusion of the recital Annada Babu said emphatically, "This is all new to us, I assure you. From the day that Ramesh left Calcutta we have not had a single line from him."
         "Yes," chimed in Akshay, "we were so far in the dark that we didn't even know for certain that he had married Kamala. Let me ask you one question, sir. Are you certain that Kamala is his wife ? She couldn't be his sister or some such relation ?"
         "What on earth do you mean, Akshay Babu ?" exclaimed Uncle. "Certainly she was his wife, and the best wife that man ever had."
         "It is a curious thing, " commented Akshay, "that the more virtuous a wife is, the worse treatment she receives. Heaven reserves the hardest trials for the most deserving !" and he heaved a portentous sigh.
        "It is certainly a most tragic story," said Annada Babu, "but nothing can be done now, so why waste tears over it ?"
         "Well, the fact is," returned Akshay, "that I was by no means fully convinced that Kamala had committed suicide. It seemed to me possible that she had merely run away from home and consequently this gentleman and I have come to Benares to prosecute a thorough search. It is quite evident that you can throw no light on the subject. However, we shall spend a few days making inquiries here."
         "Where is Ramesh now ?" asked Annada Babu.
         "He left us without giving any address," replied Uncle ; while Akshay said in turn, "I haven't seen him, but I am informed that he has returned to Calcutta and I presume he will rejoin the Alipore bar. We'll go and  make thorough inquiries in the city."
         "Will you stay with us, Akshay ?" asked Annad Babu.
         "I'm afraid I can't give you definite answer," said Akshay ; "I've taken this affair so much to heart, I'll have to devote all my time in Benares to this search. All my concern is about the position of delicately-nurtured girl like Hemamalini. Ramesh may be indifferent to her fate, but I'm not built that way."
         
  
         
     

Saturday, January 7, 2012

THE WRECK; re-visited 79



             Kamala took a lantern and went downstairs. Her limbs trembled, her heart fluttered, and her hands had turned cold and clammy. She dreaded lest her perturbation should blind her vision.
            She slid back the bolt, veiled her face, opened the door, and stood on the threshold confronting Nalinaksha.
           "Is Mukunda Babu at home ?" he asked.
           "No ; please come in," replied Kamala.
        Nalinaksha entered the sitting-room and had just settled into a chair when Budhiya appeared and delivered the message that had been entrusted to Kamala.
        Kamala's lungs seemed to be on the point of bursting ; she tottered to a position on the verandah which offered her a clear view of Nalinaksha and sank down there to allow the tumult in her bosom to subside. Her throbbing heart combined with the piercing cold to set her quivering from head to foot.
       Kamala gazed intently at Nalinaksha sitting in the circle of light of oil lamp musing and she stood shivering in the darkness in verandah. Tears welled up incessantly clouding her vision, but she hastily wiped them away She threw her whole soul into her gaze till it seemed that its magnetic attraction must draw Nalinaksha into the focus her being. The light shone on his lofty brow and composed features. Every lineament stamped and impressed itself on Kamala's heart till her entire frame grew benumbed and appeared to melt into encircling space. There was nothing before her save his face in the circle of light. All else was unreal, everything around it seemed to fade away and resolve itself into that one countenance.
      Kamala fell into a half trance from which she awoke suddenly to find that Nalinaksha had risen to his feet and was conversing with Mukunda Babu. At any moment the two men might move into the verandah and catch her eavesdropping, so she hurried away and took refuge in her kitchen. The kitchen opened on to a small courtyard through which any one leaving the house must pass.
      Kamala waited with body and brain on fire. How could such a man be husband to a miserable wretch like herself ! There was something god-like in the unruffled serenity and gracious beauty of his countenance. Conscious that her sufferings had not been in vain she bowed herself again and again in thankfulness to Heaven.
       Steps were heard descending the stairs and Kamala hurried across the unlighted doorway. Budhiya passed carrying a lamp with Nalinaksha following him across the courtyard. Kamala found herself apostrophizing  him in the language of poets.
        "My lord, thy handmaiden is a slave under a stranger's roof ; thou passest her by and wottest not of it."
         She watched Mukunda Babu leave the sitting-room and she crept into the room that he had vacated. She prostrated herself before Nalinaksha's chair, touched the ground with her forehead, and kissed the dust. Alas ! that she was debarred from serving him ! Her heart was sick with the consciousness of devotion thwarted.
         Next day Kamala learned that the doctor had prescribed for Mukunda Babu a prolonged stay at some health resort hundreds of miles west of Benares ; preparations for the journey had already been set on foot.
        Kamala went straight to her mistress.
        "I'm afraid I cannot leave Benares," she announced.
        "We can ; why can't you ? You've become very devout all of a sudden !" said Nabinkali, who supposed that Kamala made religion a cloak for her reluctance to leave the holy city.
         "You may say what you like, but I intend to remain here," said Kamala, "I implore you not to take me away."
         "You really are a terror ! We have everything ready to start when you get some bee in your bonnet," said Nabinkali impatiently, "how on earth are we to find another cook at a short notice ? We can't possibly dispense with you."
         Kamala's entreaties were of no avail ; she shut herself into her room and wept and prayed alternately.  

Friday, January 6, 2012

THE WRECK; re-visited 78



           The story about the servant Gada was perfectly true. The poor wretch had been sentenced to imprisonment for the alleged theft of a watch.
           Kamala had come to the end of her resources. When it seemed as though lifelong happiness lay within her grasp her hands were fettered. Fate had played her a cruel practical joke. Her life of drudgery as a prisoner within four walls became intolerable. She took to donning a wrapper and sallying forth into the cold night air of the garden as soon as her evening's toil was ended. There she would stand by the compound wall and would stand immovable, her passionate zeal for devoted service impelled her in search of a house that she had never seen. At last she would bow herself to the ground in a deep obeisance and retire to her chamber.
          One evening Nabinkali chose to send for her after her labours were over for the day. The bearer, however, returned with the announcement that the Brahman lady was nowhere to be found.
         "Do you mean to tell me she has bolted ?" exclaimed Nabinkali, and she personally searched the house from top to bottom, but found no trace of Kamala.
         She sought out her husband,Mukunda Babu, and informed him that to all appearances Kamala had run away. Mukunda Babu took the news quite calmly. "I told her not to," he murmured drowsily with hookah in his hand ; "she's inattentive creature. Has she taken anything with her ?"
        The wrapper that I gave her to keep her warm in this weather ; it's not in her room now. I haven't noticed if anything else is missing."
        "Send a word to the police," said her husband in a matter-of-fact tone. One of the servants was accordingly dispatched on this errand. Kamala had in the meantime retired indoors, where she came upon Nabinkali turning the whole contents of the room upside down in the endeavor to ascertain if anything had been stolen.
        "Well, what mischief have you been up to ? Where did you go ?" she cried, as soon as she caught sight of Kamala.
        "I went for a walk in the garden after I had finished my work."
        Nabinkali opened the vials of her wrath. She did not pick her words, and the servants all gathered round the door to listen.
       Storm as Nabinkali might, Kamala had never allowed her to see in tears, and this occasion was no exception ; the girl never flinched but stood like a statue under the torrent of vituperation. When it showed signs of slackening she interjected; "I am afraid you are dissatisfied with me ; you had better let me go."
       "I certainly will. If you think I'm going to feed and clothe such an ungrateful creature any longer  you're mistaken, but I'll teach you whom you have to deal with before I dismiss you."
        Kamala did not venture out of doors again. She shut herself into her room, comforting herself with the reflection that her sufferings had reached their climax and that Heaven must needs grant her relief now.
        On the fallowing evening Mukunda Babu went out for a drive, taking two of his servants with him, and the front door was bolted from inside after his departure. Dusk had fallen when a voice was heard outside inquiring if the master was at home.
        "Goodness me, that's Doctor Nalinaksha ! Budhiya ! Budhiya !" But there was no sign of Budhiya, so she turned to Kamala:
         "Just run down and open the door, will you ? Tell the doctor that my husband has gone out for a drive and will be back very soon. Ask him to wait for a few minutes."  

THE WRECK; re-visited 77



           Nalinaksha ; a practice at Rangpur ; Kamala's doubts were completely at rest. Kamala got confirmed again that Dr.Nalinaksha was a Brahman, a Chaturjye, as per the information provided by Tulsi.
           Kamla went straight to Nabinkali and informed her that she had finished and wished to go and bathe at the Dasaswamedh Ghat.
           "That would be most inconvenient. My husband is ill and one can't foresee what he may require. Why do you want to go off there to-day in particular," questioned Nabinkali.
           "I've just heard that a relation of mine whom I want very much to meet is in Benares."
           Nabinkali could understand that it was Tulsi who was the informant of this news and she immediately directed a porter to dismiss Tulsi without a moments notice and never to allow him to show his face in the house again.
          Kamala had exercised patience so long as she had no positive information about Nalinaksha, but her spirit now began to chafe. She could not bear to remain another moment under a stranger's roof while her husband lived in the same city. Her capacity for work progressively declined and Nabinkali did not fail to comment on her shortcomings.
         "Look here, young lady," she said, "I don't like the way you're behaving. Have you taken the sulks ? You're at liberty to fast yourself if you like, but you needn't try starve us to death. The stuff you cook nowadays isn't fit to eat."
         "I can't work for you any longer," replied Kamala. "I can't stand it. Please let me go."
         "Oh, indeed ?" snarled Nabinkali. "That comes of doing people a good turn these days ! To think that, just to make room for you, I turned away that good old Brahman who had worked for us so long, and now he has gone, goodness knows where. You call yourself a true Brahman ! Think you've only to come along and say, 'Please let me go !' Wait till you try to run away and see if the police don't hear about it. My son's a magistrate and many a man has gone to the gallows at a word from him. You needn't try any of your games with me. Perhaps you've heard about Gada ? He cheeked his master and we taught him a lesson ; he is in jail to this day ! You can't play fast and loose with us !"  

Thursday, January 5, 2012

THE WRECK; re-visited 76



              Kamala's life in Nabinkali's house resembled that of a fish imprisoned in a shallow and muddy pond. Her only salvation lay in escape, but escape was out of question so long as she had no obvious goal for flight. Her recent escapade had taught her how forbidding the outside world appears by night, and she shrank from once more entrusting herself to the unknown.
            In her own peculiar way Nabinkali was fond of Kamala, but her affection took distasteful forms. She had come to the girl's rescue in the hour of need, but she made it hard for Kamala to feel correspondingly grateful, and Kamala infinitely preferred her menial duties to the boredom of the leisure hours which she was forced to spend in Nabinkali's society.
          One morning the old lady summoned her to listen to the following tirade : "Look here, young lady, my husband is not well to-day and he must have luchis instead of his usual food. All the same, you needn't use such a colossal quantity of ghee. You're a good cook, I admit, but I fail to understand what you do with with all the ghee. That Uriya Brahman was your superior there. He used ghee, of course, but the taste of it was hardly noticeable in his cooking."
         Kamala got offended by this remark, but went away quietly with her work as though she had heard nothing. Nabinkali had summoned the bearer to her room and was issuing instructions to him, and this is what Kamala overheard  :
        "Hi, you, Tulsi, run off to the city and fetch Dr.Nalinaksha at once ; tell him your master's not well to-day."
         Dr.Nalinaksha ! The sunbeams danced before Kamala's eyes like golden lute-strings struck by invisible fingers. She flung down her work and posted herself at the kitchen door to waylay Tulsi as he descended. No sooner had he appeared than she inquired where he was bound for.
        "I'm off to fetch Dr.Nalinaksha," said Tulsi.
        "Who may he be ?"
        "Why, he's by way being the best doctor in the place."
         "Where does he live ?" asked Kamala.
         "In the city, about a mile away."
         Kamala made a habit of dividing among the servants such small quantities of food as were left over when their superiors' wants had been satisfied. Frequent scolding had failed to deter her from this practice, her resolution being fortified by the fact that under Nabinkali's harsh rule the underlings never had enough to eat. Moreover the master and mistress were seldom punctual at their meals and the servants had to wait their turn. Hence Kamala was beset every day with plaintive appeals for a snack to stave off hunger, which she had not the heart to refuse. Kindly acts of this nature soon made all the servants her willing slaves.
        Kamala waited at the kitchen door for Tulsi's return, and he appeared in due course, but alone.
        "Has the doctor come, Tulsi ?" asked Kamala.
        "No, he couldn't come."
        "Why not ?"
        "His mother is ill."
        "His mother ? Hasn't he any one to look after her ?" asked Kamala.
        "No, he's not married," came the reply.
        "How do you know that ?"
         "I heard from the servants that he has no wife."
         "Perhaps his wife is dead," remarked Kamala.
        "May be ; but his servant Braja said that when he was practising at Rangpur he had no wife there either," replied Tulsi.