Saturday, December 10, 2011

THE WRECK; re-visited 50


           When Annada Babu and Hemamalini entered the room they found to their dismay Akshay already installed there ; for the time being Hem was her old self again, but the sight of Akshay would be a set back ; however, it was too late to remedy the situation for Hemamalini had already followed him into the room. Akshay rose at once.
          "Well, Jogen, I had better be off now," he said, but to the astonishment of all present Hemamalini only remarked : "What's the matter, Akshay Babu ? Are you in such a hurry ? Have a cup of tea first."
           "Akshay resumed his seat. "I had two cups already, but I have enough sense never to refuse a good thing when I'm offered it."
           "By the same token, may good thing never refuse you when you offer yourself ! Could a priest give you a better blessing than that ?" said Jogendra.
           Hemamalini excused herself on the grounds that her hair required attention, and Akshay departed to attend an engagement.
          "Dad, we must not wait any longer to get Hem married. There's a lot of gossip going on about her engagement to Ramesh being broken off. I can't go on fighting single-handed like this. If I were in a position to tell the whole truth I shouldn't mind the scrapping, but for Hem's sake I can't speak out freely, so I have to fight with my mouth shut. Just the other day, you know, I had to trounce Akhil. I heard he had been speaking too freely. If we can get her married soon the talk will subside, and I shan't have to go round playing the part of sole champion turning up my sleeves and challenging the world. I strongly advise you not put it off any longer," said jogendra.
          "But whom is she to marry, Jogen ?" asked Annada Babu.
          "There is only one man. It would be difficult to find any one else, except poor Akshay ; he's not easily choked off. Tell him to take a pill and he'll take it. Bid him  marry and he'll marry."
           "Are you mad, Jogen ? Do you think Hem would ever marry Akshay ?" retorted Annada Babu.
          "I 'll manage to get her consent if only you don't interfere," replied Jogen.
          "No, Jogen, no," exclaimed his father, "I can't have you trying your persuasion on Hem ; you'll only frighten her and worry her out of her wits. Leave her alone for a little. Poor girl, she has had a trying experience and she needn't marry all at once."
         "I'm not going to put any pressure on her ; I'll make every endeavor to be considerate and gentle with her without quarreling."
         Jogendra was not in the habit of letting the grass grow under his feet. He accosted Hemamalini as soon as she had completed coiffure and emerged from her room. "Hem, I want to have a talk with you."
         Jogendra put all his efforts to convince Hamamalini to get married as soon as possible on the pretext that their father's health is deteriorating due to the fate of her broken engagement and the shame there by that they are experiencing. He coaxed her saying, "for frivolous or unfair reasons you have conceived a dislike for well-meaning friends. But you must admit among all your friends there is one in particular who has been true to you in prosperity and adversity, through good and bad repute, and whom I respect greatly in consequence. If you want a husband who would give his life to see you happy I know where to look for him provided you give your consent. But if you want melodrama--"
          Hemamalini rose to her feet. "Please don't speak to me like that.If dad orders me to marry any one I shall do as he tells me. Wait till I disobey him before you talk about melodrama."
      

Friday, December 9, 2011

THE WRECK; re-visited 49


          After Ramesh Babu disappeared from the scene of Annada Babu's surroundings the world that had seemed to Hemamalini like a dream suddenly sprang in to reality and shame and distress overwhelmed her. A sad change had come over Annada Babu who had borne the brunt of the storm that had burst over Hemamalaini ; he had never relaxed his endeavors to alleviate his daughters distress ; and when he had found all his efforts to comfort her unavailing his thoughts had turned to her mother and he had brought out this cry of helplessness from the depths of loving heart-Hemamalini saw it all in a flash. Conscience dealt her a buffet and swept her out of absorption in her own misery and by an effort of will she rent asunder and cast aside the entangling net of memories in which she had wrapped herself.
        "I say , dad," said Hemamalini, "how old was I when mother died ?"
        "You were only three then and had just begun to talk. I remember quite well your asking me, 'Where mother ?' and my saying, 'She has gone to her daddy'-your mother's father died before you were born and you never knew him. You didn't understand what I meant and you said nothing but just stood and looked solemnly at me. Then you took me by the hand and pulled me into your mother's room. You thought that though the room was empty I should find some clue there to tell me where she was. You knew that your father could do a lot, but you didn't realize that when it came to matters of life and death your big daddy was as ignorant and helpless as a baby. You can realize now how helpless I am ! God has given your father the capacity to love you but not to help you," and he laid his hand on his daughter's head.
         Jogendra was gravely dissatisfied with the turns affairs had taken. He found life at home almost unendurable ; and yet he was disinclined to seek others' society, for whenever he visited the houses of friends or acquaintances he had to furnish explanation of the rupture of Hemamalini's engagement. He went to the roof top to find his father and sister there and coaxed them to come down to the tea-table for some discussion.
       "I chose this place for a quiet talk with Hem," Annada Babu hastened to explain. His intention was to protect his daughter from Jogendra's unfeeling taunts, but his words were capable of the interpretation that he had dragged Hem up to the roof to engage her in conversation.
        "Can't one talk just as well at the tea-table ?" cried Jogendra. "You are just encouraging Hem in her foolishness, dad.You'll drive me out of this house at this rate."
         "I've decided not to have any tea to-day." said Annada Babu to avoid further conversation.
         "Why, dad, are you going to turn an out-and-out ascetic ? What's to happen to me, then ? I can't live on air," requested Jogendra.
          "Oh, no, it's not a question of asceticism. I didn't not sleep well last night so I thought of trying the effect of little abstinence."
          Hemamalini did not believe that her father seriously meant to cure himself of sleeplessness by abstaining from his usual indulgence. "Come along, dad, you must have your tea," she cried, and, forgetting his dread of insomnia, Annada Babu hurried off with her.          

Thursday, December 8, 2011

THE WRECK; re-visited 48


             Saila found it hard to restrain her own when Kamala broke out. "Don't talk that way, Kamala, as though you were going away altogether. I can't believe that you were really happy here. It's different now that you'll have a house of your own to be really happy in. We'll drop in to see you now and then, and when our backs are turned you'll say, 'Tank Heaven, they have gone at last !' "
           When the time came for Kamala to start and she had said her good-byes, Saila remarked ; "I'll come and see you to-morrow at midday," but Kamala neither accepted nor declined this offer.
          She found Umesh at the bungalow on her arrival. "So, you've here !" she exclaimed. "I thought you were going to the play."
         "So I was but as you were coming here-"
          "Never mind about me ; go off and see the performance. Bishan's here. Hurry up or you'll be late."
           "It doesn't start for some time yet," said Umesh.
           "Never mind. There's always lots going on at a wedding ; go along and see all the fun," insisted Kamala.
           He was on the point of setting out when Kamala called to him : "Look here, if Uncle comes you should--" but having got thus far she could not think how to finish the sentence. Umesh stared at her open-mouthed. After a pause she went on. "Remember, you have a good friend in Uncle. If you happen to want anything go to him and ask for it with my love and he'll give it you. Now mind and don't forget to give him my love."
         "All right," said Umesh, and he started off, quite at a loss to understand the significance of this injunction.
          "Where are you going, madam?" Bishan had occasion to ask in the course of the afternoon.
          "I'm going to bathe in the Ganges."
           "Shall I go with you ?"
           "No, stay and watch the house," and she presented him with a rupee for no apparent reason and sallied forth in the direction of the river.


THE WRECK; revisited 47


            Umesh made his presence felt by a cough standing at the door. He called her softly "Mother !"
            Kamala went to the door, and scratching his head, Umesh announced, "Mother, Sidhu Babu's people have brought up a troupe of actors from Calcutta for their daughters wedding. No charge for admission is made at the entertainment. I shall be promptly return the next day early in the morning. What kind of flowers shall I bring ?"
           "All right, you can go and see the performance. Never mind about any flowers. Wait, Umesh, take this five rupees and it'll come in handy for something."
           Umesh took the money hesitantly and was about to go off, while kamala called him back, what will people say if they see you in these clothes at the performance ?"she asked.
           "Here, take these and put them on." Kamala pulled out a couple of her own dresses suitable equally masculine and for feminine attire according to the method of folding. He fell at Kamala's feet in a clumsy obeisance, then picked up the dress and departed, contorting his face in a fruitless effort to suppress a broad grin. After his departure Kamala wiped a tear and took her stand by the window.
           "Won't you show me your letter, Kamala dear ?" said Saila, entering the room. She herself  had no secrets from Kamala, and this emboldened her to make the request.
            "There it is, didi, read it," said Kamala, pointing to where the letter lay on the floor.
             "She hasn't got over her temper yet," thought Saila in surprise, and she picked up the letter and read it through. It was certainly affectionate enough, but what a queer letter for a man to write to his wife! It was an extraordinary composition ! "Does your husband write novels, dear ?" she asked.
              Dazed as she was, Kamala winced at the word "husband." "I don't know," she replied.
              "Well, are you going to the bungalow to-day ?"
               Kamala merely nodded in reply.
              "I could have spent the day with you there, but you know, dear, I have to be present at the reception to the bride at Narsingh Babu's house ; so mother had better go with you instead."
               "Oh, no, your mother mustn't trouble to go !" cried Kamala ; "servants are there."
               Saila smiled. "Well, perhaps after all you needn't be nervous when you have a stout retainer like Umesh."
              Umi was scratching busily something on a paper while Saila tore her away from her literary pursuits she set up a shrill protest, which only subsided when Kamala interposed ; "Come with me and I'll give you something pretty."
             Kamala then carried her off to her room, seated her on the bed, and played with her till she had forgotten her troubles. When she demanded the promised gift Kamala produced from her box a pair of golden bracelets. They were the finest toys that Umi had ever seen and she was enchanted with them. When "auntie" put them on her wrists she swung her arms aloft to admire the effect, then danced off proudly to show them to her mother.
           Saila at once pulled the bracelets off to return them to the owner. "What on earth are you thinking of, Kamala ?" she cried. "What made you put them on her ?"
          "I made a present of them to Umi," said Kamala, coming closer ; Umi's shrieks of lamentation at the outrage were piercing the heavens.
          "Are you mad ?" ejaculated Saila.
          "Didi,I dare you to return them to me ! You can have them cut up and made in to a necklace for her."
          "I swear I never saw any one to beat you !" and Saila put her arm around Kamala's neck.
          "I must say good-bye to you to-day, didi," Kamala went on, I've been very happy here, I never was so happy in my life," and the tears came in a flood.
 

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

THE WRECK; re-visited 46


             "Aern't you going to your bungalow ?" asked Saila next day in an attempt to rouse Kamala from the dumps.
            "No, there's nothing left to do ."
             "What will you give me if I give you something ?" asked Saila.
             "I have nothing to give, didi" (elder sister), said Kamala.
             "Nothing at all ?"
             "Nothin at all."
            Saila flicked her on the cheek. "So that's how it is ! You've given all you possess to a certain person to keep, have you ? What do you call this ?" and she took a letter out of the fold of her dress.
           Kamala turned pale when she saw Ramesh's hand writing on the envelope, and she half turned away.
          "Now then," said Saila, "you've given a sufficient exhibition of that pride of yours. Drop it now. I know you're itching to snatch this letter from me, but I shan't give it to you at all till you ask for it nicely. We'll see how long you can keep it up."
           Just then Umi burst into the room with a shout of "Auntie ! auntie !" dragging a soapbox behind her by a string.
           Kamala snatched her up and bore her off, smothering her with kisses. Umi set up a howl of protest at being separated from her toy-cart, but Kamala would not be denied. She carried the child into her room, soothing her with an unceasing patter of baby-talk.
           Saila followed, exclaiming, "I'm beaten ; you've won this time ! I can't keep it up. Please, Kamala ! take it. I'll never be rude to you again !"
          She threw the letter down on the bed, rescued Umi from Kamala's clutches, and carried her off.
          Kamala turned the envelope over and over, then opened it and began to read, but she had only glanced through the first lines when she flushed angrily and flung the letter from her. Then she mastered her first impulse of profound disgust, picked up the letter again, and read it through.
        Whether she understood the whole of it or not it is impossible to say, but she felt as though she were handling some filthy thing and once more she threw the letter away. It was a proposal that she would make a home for a man who was not her husband ! Fully cognisant of all the facts, Ramesh had bided his time to fling this insult at her. If after their arrival in Ghazipur her heart had warmed towards him, did he imagine it was because he was Ramesh and not because he was-as she believed -her husband ? Ramesh had jumped at conclusions, and pity for an unfortunate outcast had prompted him to write this love-letter. How could she now-or ever-dispel the mistaken inference that she had drawn from her behavior ? Shame and disgust were destined to be her portion in life, though never since she came into the world had she sinned against a soul. She pictured "home" now as a dreadful monster ready to swallow her up, and she cast about in vain for a way of escape. Two days ago she could never have conceived that Ramesh would appear such an ogre to her.           

Monday, December 5, 2011

THE WRECK; re-visited 45


       Dearest,
                    You must not regard this form of address as a mere epistolary convention, Kamala. I should never address you as "dearest" were you not actually the person whom I love most in the world. If you have entertained any doubts-if I have ever wounded your feelings, may the fact in all sincerity I address you as "dearest" dissipate those doubts and assuage the pain of those wounds for ever !
               What need to enlarge on this ? Much of my behavior in past must have pained you. If in your heart you indict me for that, the charge is one that I can not refute. I can only reiterate that you are my dearest and that there is none for whom I cherish the same affection. This may not be a complete defence for all my shortcomings of behavior, but it is the only one that I can offer. So, Kamala, in addressing you as "dearest" I draw the sponge over all our doubt-infested past and lay the foundations for our future love. Believe me, I have no thought for any one but you and you are indeed my "dearest." If you are once firmly convicted of this,doubts and questionings may be finally set at rest.
            I would ask you next if I have won your love or not, but dare not ask that. Love prompts the question and I do not for an instant doubt that one day it will be answered. No words will be uttered, but heart will speak to heart ; it is my love for you that gives me this assurance. I do not boast myself worthy of  you, but I feel that my adoration cannot be in vain.
          I fully realise that this letter reads like a laboured composition and for that reason I have an impulse to tear it up ; but it is impossible for me yet to write a letter that will truly express my feelings. After all, letters are things that two persons must interchange. In the first letter of a series the writer can hardly give true expression to his sentiments. When our two minds are in full communion then I shall be able to write to you letters that are real letters. Only when the doors on both sides of a room are open can the wind blow trough it freely.
        Kamala, dearest, when shall I find the door of your heart ?
        All this will come to fruition slowly and haste would defeat its own purpose. I shall reach Ghazipur on the morning of the day after you receive this. I beg that I may find you in our house on my arrival. We have been long homeless and I can endure this life no longer. Now at last I look forward to crossing our own threshold and beholding in the queen of my heart the mistress of my house. That moment will be our second "auspicious look."
       Do you remember our first on that moonlight night by the riverside on the lonely sandbank- under the open sky, without the semblance of a roof over our heads and no parents or relations to preside over the ceremony ?
      It seems unreal to me, like a dream. And so I ardently anticipate another "auspicious look" in the clear calm light of morning surrounded by four walls and solid reality. Your sweet smiling face framed in our doorway will for ever remain enshrined in my memory. It is a picture that I long to behold. Dearest, I am a suppliant at the gate of your heart ; do not send me empty away ! Your devoted


                                                                                                                                 RAMESH.                                                                                                                                      

Sunday, December 4, 2011

THE WRECK; re-visited 44


           At last Kamala withdrew from Saila's encircling arm, wiped her eyes, and began to laugh boisterously.
           "Come, come, that's enough," said Saila ; "you're the most secretive girl I ever met ; but you needn't think I don't know what that's all about ; I'm not so green as that ! Shall I tell you what it is ? Since Ramesh Babu went to Allahabad he hasn't written you a single letter and you're vexed about it, though you are too proud to say so. But you must remember that he has a lot to do there and he'll be back in a couple of days. You must not mind if he doesn't find an opportunity to write when he's only away for that short time. Silly girl ! But do you know, dear, though I am giving you this good advice, had it happened to me I should have have done the same ! Women do cry over foolish things. Once you have had your cry out and start smiling again you'll forget about it."
        She drew Kamala to her breast and went on : "You feel now that you'll never be able to forgive Ramesh Babu, don't you ? Tell me the truth now."
        "Yes, that's the truth," said Kamala.
        Saila tapped her on the cheek. "I thought so ; of course it was that ! All right, we'll see. Only don't take it to heart."
       That very morning Saila dispatched a letter to her father in Allahabad. "Kamala is in great distress," she wrote, "because she has not heard from Ramesh Babu. One can well imagine what it must mean for the poor child when he brings her to a strange place and then goes off whenever he likes, leaving her behind and never writing to her. Can't he get his business in Allahabad over ? Plenty of people have business to do and yet find time for writing."
       Uncle hunted up Ramesh, read him an extract from his daughter's letter, and then lectured him severely. Now the real truth was not that Kamala had been too little in Ramesh's thoughts but that the more he pondered the deeper his perplexity had grown. It was not indifference but indecision that had caused him to linger in Allahabad. Then on the top of his bewilderment came this extract from Saila's letter.
       The wording of the letter clearly indicated that Kamala missed him sorely, though diffidence forbade her to write herself. Ramesh had come to the parting of the ways and he decided at once what course to take. Not his happiness alone but Kamala's love for him must be the guiding factor. Providence had not only linked their lives but had knit their hearts on that distant sandbank.
      So he bestirred himself and composed the following letter to Kamala :