Friday, January 13, 2012

THE WRECK; re-visited 85



          Akshay called on Chakrabartti in the course of the day, but nothing was said to him about Kamala's return, for Uncle knew by this time that Ramesh had no particular love for Akshay.
          None of the household asked why Kamala had taken to flight or where she had gone, and in fact every one behaved as though she had accompanied the family on its visit to Benares.
         Sailaja made Kamala sleep well with her that night. She put one arm round Kamala's neck, drew her to her breast, and stroked her softly with the other hand. The caressing touch was a mute invitation to Kamala to relate her sorrowful secret.
        "What did you all think, didi ?" asked Kamala ; "weren't you angry with me ?"
        "We were not so foolish to be angry with you," retorted Saila. "We knew that you would never do such a dreadful thing so long as any other course was open to you. It was only the thought of the awful trouble Heaven had brought upon you that made us sad. To think that the punishment should fall on one who could never conceivably have been the sinner !"
        "Would you like to hear the whole story, didi ?" asked Kamala.
        "Of course I should, dear," said Saila tenderly.
        "I don't know why I couldn't tell it you before ; I had no time then to think things out. It came as such a sudden shock that I felt I could never look any of you in the face again. I have no mother or sister, didi, but you are both mother and sister to me and that's why I'm ready to tell you the story ; otherwise I should never tell it to a soul."
        They both sat up ; Kamala related the whole tale of her life from her marriage onward. When Kamala mentioned that neither before her marriage nor on her wedding-night had she set eyes on the bridegroom, Sailaja interrupted :
        "Such a silly girl as you I've never seen ! I was younger than you when I was married. You needn't think I was too shy to look at my husband at all !"
         "It was not shyness, didi," Kamala went on. "You see, I was almost past the marrying age, then all of a sudden a marriage was arranged for me and the other girls teased me dreadfully. So just to show that I didn't consider myself extraordinarily lucky in getting a husband at my age I never even glanced at him. I actually went the length of thinking it immodest and unbecoming to take the least interest in him, even in my thoughts. I'm paying the penalty for that now."
         Kamala was silent for a few minutes, then she continued : "I've told you before how we were saved when the boats were swamped after the wedding ; but at the time when I told you I didn't know that the man who had rescued me, the man into whose hands I had fallen supposing to be my husband, was not my husband at all !"
        Sailaja started up in amazement ; she went at once to Kamala's side and put her arm round her neck, "Oh, you poor thing ; to think of it ! Now I understand it all. What an awful thing to happen !"
        "Yes, didi," said Kamala, "it was dreadful ! and to think that I might have been drowned and escaped it all !"
         "Didn't Ramesh Babu find out the truth either ?" asked Sailaja.
         "One day, some time after the marriage," Kamala went on, "he called me 'Susila', and I said to him, 'Why do you call me Susila when my name is Kamala ?' I now know that he must have realized his mistake then ; but I can't look any one in the face when I even think of those days, didi," ; and Kamala again relapsed into silence.
          Bit by bit Sailaja extracted the whole story from her.
         "It's terrible for you, dear, but I can't help thinking that you were fortunate in falling into Ramesh Babu's hands and no one else's. Say what you like, I'm sorry for that poor Ramesh Babu ! Now it's very late and you must sleep. You've been lying awake and crying so many nights that you look quite ill. To-morrow we'll decide what is to be done."

Thursday, January 12, 2012

THE WRECK; re-visited 84



             Utterly amazed, Kamala made Chakrabartti a profound reverence. It was a moment or two before he found his voice, and then he had no consciousness of what he said or where he laid his hookah.
           At last he took her by the chin and raised her shrinking face saying, "My little girl has come back to me. Come upstairs at once, dear" ; and he called, "Saila ! Saila! Come and see who's here !"
          Sailaja rushed out of her room on to the upper verandah and stood at the head of the stairs, while Kamala prostrated herself before her, touching her feet. Sailaja hastened to clasp the truant to her heart and kissed her on the forehead.
         The tears coursed down her cheeks as she ejaculated, "My dear ! My dear ! To go and leave us like that ! Didn't you know we'd be heartbroken ?"
        "Never mind about that, Saila," said Uncle ; "you had better see about some breakfast for her."
       At that moment Umi dashed out, waving her arms and shrieking in delight :
        "Auntie ! Auntie !"
        Kamala snatched her up in her arms, hugged her to her breast, and smothered her in kisses. The sight of Kamala's dischevelled looks and mean attire distressed Sailaja, and she drew her away to attend to her toilet, giving her a bath and her own best clothes to wear.
      "I don't suppose you slept well last night," she remarked. "Look how sunken your eyes are. You had better go to bed while I get ready your breakfast."
       "No thank you, didi. I'd rather go to the kitchen with you myself," and the two friends went off together to their cooking-pots.
        When Uncle had resolved to follow Akshay's advice and prepared to start for Benares, Sailaja had insisted that she must accompany him.
        "But Bipin hasn't got his holidays yet," protested Uncle.
        "That doesn't matter ; I'll go without him. Mother's here, and she'll make him quite comfortable" ; it was the first time that Sailaja had voluntarily undergone separation from her husband. She accompanied her father on the journey.
         Alighting at Benares they espied Umesh also descending from the train and both asked him what he meant by coming too. It appeared that his motive was same as their own, but Umesh was now an indispensable adjunct to the Ghazipur household and the lady of the house would be seriously annoyed at his disappearance. Father and daughter accordingly united their efforts to prevail on him to return and at last succeeded in doing so. The fact is, finding life at Ghazipur intolerable without Kamala, Umesh had seized his opportunity one morning when he had been sent to make purchases in the market. He had made off with the money entrusted to him and crossed the Ganges to the railway station. Uncle had been furious when he heard of his this escapade, but, as events turned out, the culprit hardly deserved his strictures.

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

THE WRECK; re-visited 83






            On the eve of Mikunda Babu's departure for Meerut the whole household was prepared to accompany him and every thing was packed and ready. Nabinkali feared lest in the bustle of preparation for the journey her lady-cook might give a slip, and for some days accordingly she had never let Kamala out of her sight and had kept her busily employed packing the luggage.
          Kamala was reduced to the despairing hope that she might suddenly be attacked by a severe illness that Nabinkali would be forced to leave her behind. Nabinkali made Kamala sleep with her that night and took her to the station in her own carriage next morning. Mukunda Babu was to travel in second class, while Nabinkali and Kamala were installed in an intermediate-class ladies' compartment.
         The train duly left Benares and the train rolled on to the bridge over the river Ganges. Moghalserai was the next station at the other side of the bridge and it's a railway-junction where most of the trains make a halt for changing the trains.The Meerut train was on the point of starting when, to Kamala's astonishment, she heard a well-known voice exclaim, "Mother !" She turned her head towards the platform and saw Umesh ! Her face lit up with joy.
         "It's you, Umesh !" she cried.
          Umesh opened the door of the carriage and in an instant Kamala was beside him on the platform. He prostrated himself before her with a gesture of the utmost reverence ; touching the dust of her feet and placing it on his head. He was grinning from ear to ear with delight.
         Next moment the guard slammed the door of the Meerut train.
        "What are you doing ?" shrieked Nabinkali to Kamala. "The train is off ! Get in ! Get in !" But Kamala was deaf to her outcry.
        The engine whistled and the train puffed slowly out of the station.
        "Where have you come from, Umesh ?" asked Kamala.
        "From Ghazipur."
        "Are they all well there ? What's the news of Uncle ?"
        "He is quite well."
        "How is my sister Saila ?"
        "She's crying her eyes out for you, mother."
       Kamala's eyes incontinently  filled with tears.
       "How is Umi ?" she asked next. "Does she still remember her auntie ?"
       "They can never get her to take her milk unless she is wearing those bracelets that you gave her before you left. When she puts them on she flings her arms about and cries, 'Auntie's gone away ta-ta !' and it makes her mother weep to hear her," he informed.
        "What did you come here for ?" asked Kamala.
        "I got tired of Ghazipur, so I came away," answered Umesh.
        "Where are you going to ?" asked him.
        "I'm going with you, mother," told Umesh pleadingly.
         "But I haven't a farthing in the world," cleared Kamala.
         "That doesn't matter. I have money," assured Umesh.
         "Where did you get it ?"
         "I never spent those five rupees that you gave me," and he produced the coins in corroboration.
         "Come along then, Umesh. we'll go to Benares ; what do you say ? can you get tickets for both ?" asked Kamala.
         "Of course I can," and he was back in no time with the tickets.
          The train was standing in the station. He saw Kamala into her place and informed her that he would travel in the next compartment.
          "Where are we going to ?" asked Kamala when they left the train at Benares.
          "Don't you worry, mother ! I'll take you to the right place."
          "The right place indeed !" exclaimed Kamala. "What do you know of Benares ?"
          "I know all about it. Just see where I take you."
           He escorted Kamala to a hackney-carriage and himself mounted the box. In front of a certain house the carriage stopped, and Umesh announced, "You must get down here, mother."
          Kamala alighted and followed Umesh into the house, where he hailed some unseen personage ; "Hallo, grandpa are you in ?"
         From the side room came the answer, "is that you, Umesh ? Where have you turned up from ?"
        Next moment Uncle Chakrabartti appeared in person carrying a hookah, and Uncle's countenance became one huge smile.



Tuesday, January 10, 2012

THE WRECK; re-visited 82



            Hemamalini did not want to pursue the subject further, and so after a short pause she went on : "When I endeavor to act according to your teaching I find myself continually brought up against obstacles and when I get diverted from your teachings I get terrified and reduced to despair.  Do you think I shall never achieve stability of purpose ? Shall I always be liable to waver under external shocks ?"
           Hemamalini's pathetic appeal made Nalinaksha to reflect.
          "You must understand," he replied, after a brief pause, "that is in order to nerve us to effort that difficulties are placed in our way. You must not be discouraged."
           Nalinaksha's words gave Hemamalini strength and mental tranquility that she badly needed. Even after he had gone her heart was conscious of his healing touch. She found a spiritual Guru in him. In that propitious moment the sunlight and the dazzling blue of the heavens showered creation's eternal blessing on her soul when she was standing outside her room after the departure of Nalinaksha.
          The first shock of the announcement of the marriage proposal of Nalinaksha's mother had passed away and Hemamalini no longer shrank instinctively from the idea. More than ever she felt dependent on Nalinaksha and devoted to him. In his passionless altruism he was independent of woman's love, but to him, no less than to others, service was due. His mother was old and ill, and he had no one to care for him. To serve a man like him was a work of piety.
         The chapter in Ramesh's history that came to her notice that morning caused her such a crushing blow that she had to summon up all her forces to shield herself from its cruel impact. She had no desire to sit in judgement and pass sentence on him. Her instinct was to banish from her mind all thoughts of Ramesh. When at times she envisaged Kamala's fate shudder passed over her, but after all, she asked herself, what link had she with the luckless suicide ? When shame, loathing, and pity reasserted themselves, clasping her hands she prayed : "O Lord, why do these thoughts vex me when I have committed no fault ? Release me, I pray Thee, from these earthly ties. Let them be served once for all. I desire nothing more, only that I may live at peace in this Thy world !" 
          Annada Babu wanted to know what impression the story of Ramesh and Kamala had made on Hemamlini, but he could not pluck courage to mention the subject openly. 
         "He seemed a good sort, that old fellow who came to see us this morning," he began, "I was really surprised at Ramesh's conduct. One had heard a good deal of gossip about him, but I never believed it till to-day. Still--"
         "Don't let's talk about it, dad," she implored.
         "I don't want to discuss it, dear," said Annada Babu, "but by the working of Providence our happiness and misery are inextricably bound up with one person and another and we cannot afford to ignore their conduct."
         "No, no !" protested Hemamalini. "We cannot allow our happiness and misery to depend on any individual at all. I'm all right, dad. If you distress yourself unnecessarily about me you only make me ashamed."
         "Hem, dear, I'm an old man and I shan't be happy till I see you settled. How can I die and leave you unmarried ! You see, dear, the fact that we have had disappointment should not lead us to spurn other valuable things that life has to offer. It may be that in your sorrow you do not see for the moment how you can make your life happy and useful, but remember I have no motive if I ask you not to reject the proposal that I communicated to you."
         Hemamalini's eyelids fluttered as she exclaimed : "Please don't say that ! I should never reject any proposal that came from you. Whatever order you give me I shall obey. All that I ask for is an opportunity to purge my heart of doubts and to prepare myself first."
        Annada Babu felt his daughter's cheek wet with tears, and laid his hand lightly on her head. He said nothing more to her.              
                  

Monday, January 9, 2012

THE WRECK; re-visited 81




          Akshay and Uncle departed,leaving Annada Babu anxiously scanning his daughters face. Hemamalini  on her part had a tremendous struggle to retain her composure, knowing, as she did, her father's fears on her behalf.
         Dad," she said at length, "I think you should get a doctor to examine you thoroughly to-day. So little upsets your health now-a-days that you obviously need regular treatment.
        To find that, after Ramesh's conduct had been so fully canvassed, Hemamalini was still capable of solicitude about his health gave him considerable relief.
        "That's a good idea. It would be just as well if I did have myself examined. I had better send for Dr. Nalinaksha at once, don't you think so ?" he replied.
         Hemamalini was conscious was of a slight shrinking at the mention of Nalinaksha. It would require a considerable effort to meet him on the old footing in her father's presence. However, she answered cheerfully, "That will be best. I'll send some one to fetch him."
         Annada Babu  now took courage from Hemamalini's apparent insensibility and broached the thorny subject.
         "By the way, Hem," he began, "about this affair of Ramesh--" but Hemamalini cut him short.
          "The sun is too hot for you now , dad ; you must come inside immediately" ; and she took his arm and drew him into the house.
          "Now you read your news paper, I must leave you for a little," and she left installing him in an armchair.
           Though he strove to comply with Hemamalini's dictates the anxiety for his daughter prevented him from concentrating on the news paper, and at last he laid it aside and went in search of her. Finding her door was closed he retreated to the verandah and collapsed wearily into his chair.
          Dr.Nalinaksha arrived and examined Annada Babu. He prescribed a course of treatment for the old man and asked Hem if the patient had been worrying over anything. Hem answered with a qualified affirmative.
          "If possible," said Nalinaksha, "he should be kept free from all anxiety. I find the same difficulty with my own mother. She takes trifling matters so much to heart that it is not easy to keep her in good health. I try to shield her from anything that might excite her, but the world being what it is, it is hardly possible to do so altogether."
          "You're not looking perfectly fit yourself to-day," remarked Hemamalini.
          "Oh, I'm perfectly well ! I'm practically never out of sorts. I sat up for part of the night and probably explains why I am not looking my best."
          "It would be better if your mother had a woman in constant attendance on her. You can't nurse her properly by yourself and you have your work to do besides," suggested she.
           Hemamalini had spoken without any thought of herself and there was no gainsaying the appositeness of her remark, but no sooner had she uttered the words than she blushed crimson with shame ; for it suddenly struck her that Nalinaksha might draw some inference from what she had said. He, too, when he noticed her confusion, was irresistibly reminded of his mother's proposal.
         Hemamalini hastened to cover her indiscretion by adding, "Shouldn't she have a maid- servant to wait on her ?"
        "I've tried to persuade her to engage a woman," said Nalinaksha, "but so far without success. She is very scrupulous about ceremonial purity and she could not trust a paid servant to be as particular as she is herself. Moreover she has an instinctive dislike to accepting any service that is not entirely voluntary."
  

Sunday, January 8, 2012

THE WRECK; re-visited 80

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            On the night of the day when Annada Babu discussed with his daughter about her marriage proposal with Nalinaksha and she showed her diffidence to it he had recurrence of the severe pain which had attacked him in Calcutta. He spent the night in agony, but the morning brought some relief. Hemamalini attributed his relapse to disappointment to her rejection of the proposed marriage, and her conscience was troubled by the reflection that mental worry had aggravated the old man's bodily weakness. The problem of finding some means of alleviating his distress dominated all others in her thoughts, but she was totally unable to solve it.
           The sudden appearance of Akshay and Uncle took her by surprise, and Akshay introduced the old gentleman as Chakrabarttiof Ghazipur, a worthy fellow-countryman whose name was well known throughout the province and he had something very important to tell. They seated beside Annada Babu and Uncle proceeded to explain their errand.
          "I am informed ," he began, "that you are old friends of Ramesh Babu, so I have come to ask you if you can give me any tidings of his wife."
          Surprise at this opening deprived Annada Babuof breath. "Ramesh's wife !" he exclaimed.
          Hemamalini dropped her eyes, and Chakrabartti resumed : "You must think me very old-fashioned and ill-mannered, but if you will have patience and hear me out I think you will be convinced that I haven't come all the way from Ghazipur simply to discuss other people's affairs with you ! It was during the Puja holidays that I met Ramesh Babu ; I made his acquaintance on the steamer in which he was travelling up-country with his wife. You know yourselves that no one can meet Kamala without succumbing to her charm. I am an old man and sorrow and affliction have toughened my fibre, but I can never forget that dear little woman. On the steamer Ramesh Babu was still undecided about a destination, but we had known each other only a couple of days.  Kamala became so attached to my old self that she persuaded her husband to disembark at Ghazipur and put up with us. My second daughter Saila loved her more than her own sister. I can't bear to speak of what happened after that. Why the dear girl should suddenly disappear, leaving us heart-broken, I have never yet been able to conceive. Saila's eyes have never been dry since we lost her" ; and Uncle completely broke down at the recollection.
         "What happened to her, where did she go ?" asked Annada Babu in great concern.
         "Akshay Babu," said Uncle, "you have heard everything ; you tell him. It breaks my heart to think of it."
         Akshay recounted the whole story in detail. Without adding any comment of his own he succeeded in depicting Ramesh's behavior in the blackest colors.
         At the conclusion of the recital Annada Babu said emphatically, "This is all new to us, I assure you. From the day that Ramesh left Calcutta we have not had a single line from him."
         "Yes," chimed in Akshay, "we were so far in the dark that we didn't even know for certain that he had married Kamala. Let me ask you one question, sir. Are you certain that Kamala is his wife ? She couldn't be his sister or some such relation ?"
         "What on earth do you mean, Akshay Babu ?" exclaimed Uncle. "Certainly she was his wife, and the best wife that man ever had."
         "It is a curious thing, " commented Akshay, "that the more virtuous a wife is, the worse treatment she receives. Heaven reserves the hardest trials for the most deserving !" and he heaved a portentous sigh.
        "It is certainly a most tragic story," said Annada Babu, "but nothing can be done now, so why waste tears over it ?"
         "Well, the fact is," returned Akshay, "that I was by no means fully convinced that Kamala had committed suicide. It seemed to me possible that she had merely run away from home and consequently this gentleman and I have come to Benares to prosecute a thorough search. It is quite evident that you can throw no light on the subject. However, we shall spend a few days making inquiries here."
         "Where is Ramesh now ?" asked Annada Babu.
         "He left us without giving any address," replied Uncle ; while Akshay said in turn, "I haven't seen him, but I am informed that he has returned to Calcutta and I presume he will rejoin the Alipore bar. We'll go and  make thorough inquiries in the city."
         "Will you stay with us, Akshay ?" asked Annad Babu.
         "I'm afraid I can't give you definite answer," said Akshay ; "I've taken this affair so much to heart, I'll have to devote all my time in Benares to this search. All my concern is about the position of delicately-nurtured girl like Hemamalini. Ramesh may be indifferent to her fate, but I'm not built that way."
         
  
         
     

Saturday, January 7, 2012

THE WRECK; re-visited 79



             Kamala took a lantern and went downstairs. Her limbs trembled, her heart fluttered, and her hands had turned cold and clammy. She dreaded lest her perturbation should blind her vision.
            She slid back the bolt, veiled her face, opened the door, and stood on the threshold confronting Nalinaksha.
           "Is Mukunda Babu at home ?" he asked.
           "No ; please come in," replied Kamala.
        Nalinaksha entered the sitting-room and had just settled into a chair when Budhiya appeared and delivered the message that had been entrusted to Kamala.
        Kamala's lungs seemed to be on the point of bursting ; she tottered to a position on the verandah which offered her a clear view of Nalinaksha and sank down there to allow the tumult in her bosom to subside. Her throbbing heart combined with the piercing cold to set her quivering from head to foot.
       Kamala gazed intently at Nalinaksha sitting in the circle of light of oil lamp musing and she stood shivering in the darkness in verandah. Tears welled up incessantly clouding her vision, but she hastily wiped them away She threw her whole soul into her gaze till it seemed that its magnetic attraction must draw Nalinaksha into the focus her being. The light shone on his lofty brow and composed features. Every lineament stamped and impressed itself on Kamala's heart till her entire frame grew benumbed and appeared to melt into encircling space. There was nothing before her save his face in the circle of light. All else was unreal, everything around it seemed to fade away and resolve itself into that one countenance.
      Kamala fell into a half trance from which she awoke suddenly to find that Nalinaksha had risen to his feet and was conversing with Mukunda Babu. At any moment the two men might move into the verandah and catch her eavesdropping, so she hurried away and took refuge in her kitchen. The kitchen opened on to a small courtyard through which any one leaving the house must pass.
      Kamala waited with body and brain on fire. How could such a man be husband to a miserable wretch like herself ! There was something god-like in the unruffled serenity and gracious beauty of his countenance. Conscious that her sufferings had not been in vain she bowed herself again and again in thankfulness to Heaven.
       Steps were heard descending the stairs and Kamala hurried across the unlighted doorway. Budhiya passed carrying a lamp with Nalinaksha following him across the courtyard. Kamala found herself apostrophizing  him in the language of poets.
        "My lord, thy handmaiden is a slave under a stranger's roof ; thou passest her by and wottest not of it."
         She watched Mukunda Babu leave the sitting-room and she crept into the room that he had vacated. She prostrated herself before Nalinaksha's chair, touched the ground with her forehead, and kissed the dust. Alas ! that she was debarred from serving him ! Her heart was sick with the consciousness of devotion thwarted.
         Next day Kamala learned that the doctor had prescribed for Mukunda Babu a prolonged stay at some health resort hundreds of miles west of Benares ; preparations for the journey had already been set on foot.
        Kamala went straight to her mistress.
        "I'm afraid I cannot leave Benares," she announced.
        "We can ; why can't you ? You've become very devout all of a sudden !" said Nabinkali, who supposed that Kamala made religion a cloak for her reluctance to leave the holy city.
         "You may say what you like, but I intend to remain here," said Kamala, "I implore you not to take me away."
         "You really are a terror ! We have everything ready to start when you get some bee in your bonnet," said Nabinkali impatiently, "how on earth are we to find another cook at a short notice ? We can't possibly dispense with you."
         Kamala's entreaties were of no avail ; she shut herself into her room and wept and prayed alternately.